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relationships expert
2003-01-21 - 11:35 p.m.

This is quite strange. I've been getting a bunch of google hits from a chinese google thing (or another language that uses chinese characters) about "being independent and interdependent but not codependent". They've been bringing up one of my old entries which... meh, anyway. I'm tired.


Um, I was thinking of writing something about Pete Townshend but I don't know if I have the energy. The short version is, he's been accused of visiting child-porn sites, he's given an explanation of why he did it, which while not totally credible is at least believable, depending on whether or not other evidence backs him up... but anyway, it's been mentioned in the paper and it's like *everyone*, absolutely *everyone* is just assuming he's guilty and that his explanation is just a lie. I don't know, it just makes me cross. It's like, if you're famous and an accusation is made against you, then the blacker the crime you're accused of is then the more guilty you're assumed to be, regardless of the situation...


Um, yeah, and I had this other amazing insight I was going to share, what was it?


"People wouldn't worry nearly so much about what other people thought of them if they realised how seldom the do." Right, that's my text. Bleh. I guess all I really wanted to say is, you know, people judge you mainly by one thing. It's true. They don't care about whether you're fat or thin, smart or stupid, beautiful or ugly, kind or cruel - although if they're asked why they like or dislike you they'll probably draw on some of those categories. "I hate that fat bitch", "I like him because he's such a thoughtful guy", &c &c. But the truth is, what matters is not *what you are* but what you make *them* feel that *they* are. If you make me feel like I'm a generous, nice, pleasant, charming person, then I will like you, because when I'm around you I like myself. If you make me feel like a slug, then I will dislike you, because when I'm around you I dislike myself. But it's got nothing to do with what you *are*. Um. Yeah, I could say more, but I need to sleep.


"You've got a grown man

For a boyfriend

So you'd better treat him just like a baby" - Loudon Wainwright III

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