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about abbot
2003-08-27 - 11:50 p.m.

Watching Tony Abbot getting interviewed tonight, I was so angry I could hardly contain myself… I’m still angry now. I wanted to see him falter, fall apart, choke. But he didn’t bat an eyelid. He’s been caught lying, lying on tape… there’s no question that he’s lying. No question. He’s even joked to a newspaper about the fact that he was only lying to the ABC. But there he was, brazen as you like, saying that no, actually he hadn’t lied. I won’t go into his argument, which was thoroughly stupid, but it made me want to explode with hatred. These fuckers, these pissant little fuckers who have all the power and influence, who have had it easy since the day they were fucking born, who kick the shit out of migrants and the unemployed and aborigines for their petty personal political advantage, are just so fucking arrogant. “Oh, so I lied to the public. Repeatedly. So what? We are the aristocracy, we were born to rule, and you down there had better get used to it. How rude, how impudent of you to even ask me about lies I told five whole years ago!”

ARGH!!!! I am fucking boiling over just thinking about it. Those pricks, those fucking pricks… they lied about “Weapons of Mass Destruction”, they lied about “Children Overboard”, they lied about the GST, and now they’re lying about this, and they just expect us to fucking take it and then vote them in again at the next election because, hey, Simon Crean is boring! So obviously we’ll take another 4 years of these cocksuckers!

The thing is, the really galling thing, is that it doesn’t fucking matter what I think. I’ve hated John Howard from day one, and I never would have voted for him under any circumstances, so it doesn’t matter how much that hatred increases. Because I’m a lost cause for them, anyway. So, it doesn’t matter. My vote counts for exactly nothing. The only reason that people are going so hard after this issue is that the Liberals won last time on the Hanson vote; if they lose the Hanson vote, they might lose the next election. So it’s the… it’s the racist, ignorant thugs who are scared of the country being flooded with Asians who get to decide whether or not this matters.

Ok, so here’s the twist in the tail; I lie all the time. I was down here fuming, then I thought back to my review a couple of days ago… I didn’t tell any direct lies, not exactly, but they were definitely lies in the same way that Abbot’s lies were. I was misleading. I avoided revealing the truth at moments when it would have been the honest thing to do so. And really, I lie as easy as breathing. It gives me no qualms. I like to be liked, and so I tell people what I think they want to hear. I’m in no position to strangle Abbot just because he told a few lies. I’m no better than him, no different. I am made of the same weak substance that he and Howard are made of. I should feel mercy for him, compassion... compassion for someone who is so fixated on power that they have no compassion for others. Without that compassion, they are effectively dead to the world, they have no way of feeling alive, no way of enjoying simple pleasures, because they are locked in to their ambitions… like Don Giovanni. They aren’t monsters. But I want them to be! Oh god, how much I want them to be bad enough to justify all the hatred I feel for them! Because, if they aren’t, what does that make me? Where is all this ugly black violent stuff coming from? It’s not from out there… it’s from in here. In me.

This started me thinking about something else… I’m sorry, these diary entries are getting to be so long these days, I can’t believe that anyone reads them anymore. Anyway, it’s something to do with ontological insecurity… and hardness. But never mind. I can’t put it together right now, I’m too strung out, and besides, I have to be up early tomorrow.


"Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show

With some smartass New York Jew

Well the Jew laughed at Lester Maddox

The audience laughed at Lester Maddox too

Well he may be a fool but he's our fool

If they they're better than him they're wrong" - Randy Newman

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