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unjumping the shark
2003-09-19 - 1:55 a.m.

I think my career as a pornographer is over.


I sat down to try to write a new story this evening and there was just nothing. I started it, it didn't ring true, I thought about it for a while, and then I gave up.


I think the problem is that I don't really believe in narrative and I don't believe in drama. I like characters and I like adventures. But I don't care about sequences of events, and I don't care about conflict. Most stories are structured around conflict of kind of another; we get a series of explosions, then a big explosion, the conflict is resolved, and then there's nothing more to say. It's an awful way to structure our imaginations, because there's no point in being alive unless you hate someone, or someone hates you, or preferably both, according to the dramatic model.


So, anyway, what can I write, what is arousing? Most text-porn is either structured around a thin dramatic pretext (will they acheive orgasm? will they be caught out? will s/he be able to accept some shocking new sexual innovation?) or is kind of flat and lifeless because it's just an inventory of occurrences. I don't know what I can do that isn't either of these. Maybe I could write a novel, and include sexual scenes in it, and that would allow me to combine genuine characterisation with erotica. But, I'd have to write a whole bloody novel. It's a lot of work. I don't know how to write a good erotic short-story that doesn't just re-tread what's been done a thousand times before by other people. So, until I can think of a way that I can do something interesting and new, then my incipient career as writer-of-erotica is over. I hope nobody's too disappointed. :|


"I'm like the child you never were

But I'm right behind you" - Richard Thompson

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