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empty day
2003-11-20 - 4:39 p.m.

Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I feel utterly lacklustre. All I want to do is lie in bed and read, or possible go back to playing computer games...


...hey! Do you realise, it's now about THREE MONTHS since I decided to stop playing computer games, and I'VE DONE IT! To find another period in my life where I have gone so long without games, you'd have to go back... maybe 15 years. FIFTEEN GODDAMN YEARS! I have kicked the addiction!


Actually, I don't think I have kicked the addiction entirely. I think if I started again today then within a week I would be as bad as I ever was... also, I think to a fairly scary extent internet addiction has taken over from computer game addiction... but I don't think it's as bad. There's something basically social about the internet... I'm not hiding from the world here. Or at least, not entirely. Also, I think gaming by it's nature is relentlessly demanding of more and more time, and what you do in that world is totally useless outside of it... whereas, the internet only wants a certain portion of your time. You know? And that might be a large portion, but it's limited. You reach a point where you've had enough internet for the day. Man, I'm so thirsty. Anyway, you reach a point where enough is enough... games just want more and more of your time. Yeah, and I learn stuff by spending time here... I'm thinking, I'm reading, I'm writing, I'm engaging with a world that has connections to the outside world... I don't feel it's entirely wasted.


I've decided. I've decided that... it's time to move on with my life. It doesn't matter what happens, really, but something has to happen. I'm going to do something. I just don't know what it is yet.


"No-one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful

Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful" - They Might Be Giants

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