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Dear New Zealand,
If at any stage you would like to invade Australia and make us a, thingo, protectorate or a colony or whatever, just until we grow up and are responsible enough to run our own government, I wouldn't have any objections at all. You can take all the best land and minerals and stuff, and the best-looking sheep are all yours, too. Just, please, please, do something about the parlous state of our government.
Yours with love, looking forward to seeing you soon, Me.
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