TITHONUS' DIARY!!
New - Archives - Profile - Notes - Email - Design - Diaryland |
|
funny ha ha Ok, the poll resulted in very little response but they were all b's. I put the poll up because my own feeling was that I ought... I ought to find it either funny or offensive, but it wasn't either. It was just... nothing. It's almost as though I just don't get the joke or something. - Ok, new question (don't worry about responding to this one). But, is commitment what happens when you realise you don't have any other options? Or is it a decision to ignore all other options? - This question came to me because I was thinking today about the fact that I'm committed, totally committed, for life, to an academic career. This is it for me. I don't have any other options waiting, I don't have something else to fall back on just in case it doesn't work out the way I'd like... this is it. And it wasn't a decision, there wasn't a day when I decided this was the career for me, it just sort of... crept up on me that it was inevitable. - Ok, now the problem with commitment in personal relationships I've had in the past is that basically I've always decided to "commit" to someone, but then I start regretting the decision. Or I question it. And the more I endeavour to shut out the possibility of those other options, the more tempting they've seemed. And I'm thinking, maybe actually it's not a matter of deciding at all. Maybe I've been going about it all wrong... maybe you just find yourself in a situation where you know you want to be where you are, and you know you want to go where you're heading. - The trouble with that, though, is that I live with this dread... this terrible fear that where I'm heading is... wherever I'm heading, it's alone. That's the choice that fate has chosen for me. And if that's fate's choice... then I can fight against it all I like but it's where I'll end up. And all of my efforts to make the right choice will be like a leaf trying to choose whether to fall this way or that, spiralling on the breeze... - Maybe if one just listens to the voice of the world, and tries to speak the truth, speak the truth that you feel in your bones, then all these questions about choices become irrelevant. - Saw "Midnight Cowboy" today. Boy is that a depressing movie. Lovely soundtrack, though. - "Blue is the colour of the sky In the morning When we rise In the morning When we rise That's the time Oh that's the time I love the best" - Donovan |
Previous / Next |