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mile of stone
2005-01-19 - 11:47 p.m.
Yes, I have passed an important milestone; I now have 100 pages of comments in my guestbook. I'm not exactly sure how many messages that is, but I think that it's basically a lot. It's funny reading over some of the old ones... realising how transient some of those friendships were and also how amazingly lasting some have proved to be... the oldest message from someone who I'm still in touch with is from papersnow
who left me a message on June 1st, 2001. In a few months that'll mean we've known each other for four years. That's really quite a while... I would've been 24 back then... still just a little kid, ha ha ha.
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Hmmm.
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I sort of have internet at home now so I may be updating a little more regularly, but then again, I may not. This is my brother's computer and it's a linux thing which means both that I can't make it go without his help, and the only protection I have against him reading it is his respect for my privacy, which in this case is probably all I need but still doesn't make feel 100% safe... well, it probably wouldn't be the end of the world if he did read it.
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In other news, my work is going well, I feel good about life and apart from a bit of insomnia I really don't have anything to complain about. I should probably say in reference to that last entry... I'm not obsessing over relationships and my lack of them, as SOME would have it. *stern look* I actually feel much more content in my singleness than I have in a long while. But, you know, this diary has always been a bit of an outlet for my musings about why it's always all gone wrong, and it's still one of the few things I don't feel like I can talk about with most people I know... it's hard to find people who aren't judgemental about it all, I guess, because people identify with one side or the other and then they want to blame people. Whereas, I just want to understand stuff first... maybe the blaming can happen later. ;) So, yeah, in summary, I'm happy to be on my own but I continue to be interested in what disposes me to be that way, and writing about stuff I'm interested in is just what I do.
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Hmmm.
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Oh, guess what! My years of insomnia finally paid off the other day when I was awake at 5am and spotted a fire on my sister's balcony! Did I already talk about this before? I don't even remember. Anyway, point is, if I'd been asleep like any normal person, the house could have burned down and killed me and my two sisters, so, there you go, it turns out that my inability to sleep all these years was something to be grateful for, after all. Yay!
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"It's all feeling" - Chris Smither
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