New - Archives - Profile - Notes - Email - Design - Diaryland
am I a jerk
Am I a jerk if I write back and say, in the nicest way possible, I didn't realise you had a boyfriend, and if I had I never would have embarked on this process? Or should I reply with a cowardly and dishonest pretence of being interested in pursuing the friendships further, but "at some future time" or somesuch in the hopes that the future time never comes?
See, I feel like I'm being a jerk if I act like, effectively, "oh, you have a boyfriend, go away, I'm not interested in you as a person anymore". But on the other hand, I already have lots of friends. The reason I started pursuing her is because I want a girlfriend. I feel like I need to be honest both with her and with myself about what it is that I want and need. But this involves acknowledging a certain amount of jerkdom on my part. I'm not the most evil person who ever lived. But... ok, I am a bit of a jerk. I'm after a girlfriend, not a friend-friend, and... argh. Argh. GARGH!!!
Right, I will come back to this later when I have calmed down.
"I'll be home" - Randy Newman
Previous / Next